One day, Jack, was crossing the road, when, SUDDENLY, it hit him.
Quite literally really, The road simply got up and hit him. In the face.
Shocked as he was, Jack could manage to stammer out," Why in tarnation, not carnation, did u slap me?"
Now, it was the road's turn to feel timid. Stuttering away, he explained himself," Well, good sir, u seemed to be walking over me, and i decided to well, stand up for my self"
Jack pondered for a minute and said, " Oh my , i have been walking over you havnt i? .. Take That and that. hmmph, thatll teach you for hitting me."
The End.
Jack walk on the pavement.
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Meaning of Life.
The Meaning of Life,
is not forty two,
a complicated knife,
slicing up the loo.
Loo,
Doo,
Poo,
Mooo.
went the cow,
life it thought,
was like "wow",
"Arnt cows hot?"
Hot,
Not,
Trot,
went the horse,
isnt life, to me,
like norse?
to be or not to be,
be,
bee,
beee,
went the bee,
or was it buzz buzz buzz,
as it could clearly see,
isnt it a fuzz,
fuzz,
fur,
hair,
said the naked mole rat,
he wore a hat,
i would like a bunch,
he said, it would be a munch,
munch crunch bunch,
thus the meaning,
of life,
is meaningful,
to life.
is not forty two,
a complicated knife,
slicing up the loo.
Loo,
Doo,
Poo,
Mooo.
went the cow,
life it thought,
was like "wow",
"Arnt cows hot?"
Hot,
Not,
Trot,
went the horse,
isnt life, to me,
like norse?
to be or not to be,
be,
bee,
beee,
went the bee,
or was it buzz buzz buzz,
as it could clearly see,
isnt it a fuzz,
fuzz,
fur,
hair,
said the naked mole rat,
he wore a hat,
i would like a bunch,
he said, it would be a munch,
munch crunch bunch,
thus the meaning,
of life,
is meaningful,
to life.
Something Clever.
I have to write something profoundly clever,
not witty,
silly, never,
nothing naughty.
Something clever,
maybe smart,
Not the makings of a writer,
Blots of ink on a pop tart.
Something Clever,
rhyming word,
never can i find her,
less i impale a sword.
Something Sharp,
Wordlessly Witty,
Fancifully Fun,
Mercifully Merry.
Something Clever.
not witty,
silly, never,
nothing naughty.
Something clever,
maybe smart,
Not the makings of a writer,
Blots of ink on a pop tart.
Something Clever,
rhyming word,
never can i find her,
less i impale a sword.
Something Sharp,
Wordlessly Witty,
Fancifully Fun,
Mercifully Merry.
Something Clever.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Hah.
| Evan Lum was the cause of the apocalypse. | |
| ... afterward, Evan Lum tried to cover up a bizarre love triangle involving them and two monkeys. | |
| 'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Saturday, September 6, 2008
By the time you have finished reading this you have wasted around 3 seconds of your life. Sad Really. Your loss.
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace and questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
(Part One)
1.Are you allowed to have a bf/gf or monkey f.?
All three are encouraged. At the same time.
2. Describe yourself in one word that rhymes which smuckerooney.
Smuckerooney-like.
3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love or a flying elephant on mars?
shucks, flying elephant, no contest. Imagine all the adventures - Flying into town on an elephant.
4. Have you ever flown into someone before but never had the speed to run away?
yep. dang you. dang you mister Wall Made out of Cement.
5. Does it feel good to love?
Pasta- most definately.
6. What do you like to eat?
Edible things. tasty edible things.
7. What's the last thing you'll do before you die?
Rule the Universe,
8. Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to fly away from Walls someone?
All the time. all the time.
9. What can you say about playboys/playgirls?
Toys R us must be making money.
10. Are you still a virgin?
How you doin.
(Part Two)
1. Best place to cry or fly?
in the sky. If you cry, it rains, if you fly. erm. you fall. and not hit the ground.
2. Who's the person who stands on top of your heart?
Shucks. I havnt a clue , but i hope the person dosnt where cleats.
3. Tell us your dream last night.
Oh brilliant, Once upon a time, there was war between chocolate bars and Thunder. Obviously from the names, Chocolate Bars were the more intimidating ones. One Day Mister Thun Derer went to school and ate a chocolate bar. Thats when the war turned in the Thunders favour , so one day ....
4. Ever hated someone so bad?
yes. Mister Hate.
5. The biggest and most hurtful lie you heard?
The Earth is spherical. What rubbish, i believed up to the age of 15. I now know its Squarical.
6. The last person you had a beer with?
I prefer wine.
7. The last person you went to the movies with?
was in this city.
8. The last person you talked on the cellphone with?
Mister Mobe Liefone
9. The last person you hugged?
The Hugger.
10. The last person who made you cry?
The horrid Mister Onion.
In the last week you kissed someone?
Yeah. Parents
12. Danced crazy?
All the time, thats why im prob in an asylum now. sighs.
13. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
When the flying bamboo stick ran away.
14. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
Another Gazillion wishes. Or maybe , erm.. i have to think about this. Yes, i did say think. I can.
15. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
All around the world. specifically, Rome , Venice, Milan, Genoa, Syracuse, Ravenna, Malta, Madrid, Valencia, Toledo, Granada, Marrakech, Athens, Rhodes, Nicosia, Zagreb, Toulouse. Champagne, Bordeaux, Moscow, Berlin, Budapest, Prague, Cairo, Alexandra, Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Istanbul, Ankara, the Cappadocians, Antanlya, Carthage, Cape-town, Pretoria, Delhi, Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Canton, Tokyo, Kyoto, Seoul, Sydney, , Wellington, Buenos Aires, Barcelona, Texas, NYC, California, Vancouver. Dubai and Doha.
16. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Absolupositively. on the PS2
17. Are you old fashioned?
shucks. i dont like the term old fashioned. i prefer Antique like or dinosaur dude or even Great Grandpa.
18. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back or Chickens tamed by monkeys took over the world.?
the latter. i dont think anyone would believe me.
19. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Living.
20. Five facts about me
I am a genius. I am from Earth. I like brown things i think. I like the Hitchikers guide to the galaxy. My real name is Aurelius Maximillian. I have a blue phone. My favourite dog is a chiwawa. I can spell rather well. i despise eagles. i think Pcs are better than macs.
Five of them are true.
Seven songs in my head now.
yeesh. They are in my head for a reason.
Five of your favourite TV shows.
House
Las Vegas
30 rock
My wife and Kids
Friends
Simpsons
Family guy
KevJumba
Monty Python
23. Five things I treasure in my life.
Me
Myself
I
Meself
Iself
and some rather akward things.
24. Four "First Time" in my life.
For the first time in my life, could fly
For the first time in my life, I could run around in circles. alot.
For the first time in my life, I have my own com.
For the first time in my life, I’ve posted . Well. No. but . posted erm.. in my grandmums house. yeah.
25. Seven words and things I always use
Words:
chicken
holey Smackerooney
blimey
Monkey
What in Tarnation?
I dont like Homework
Hey, got any food?
Things:
laptop
trusty bart simpson pencil bag
homework diary
Tele
Bros Com
Bed
I tag:
I Jon.
I tag Samanta,
Amanda,
Michelle
Evan.
Chewy
Anyone who so happens to read this. if its more than one person. im awed. that didnt make sense.
Nirvan
"lololololololololololololol"
(Part One)
1.Are you allowed to have a bf/gf or monkey f.?
All three are encouraged. At the same time.
2. Describe yourself in one word that rhymes which smuckerooney.
Smuckerooney-like.
3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love or a flying elephant on mars?
shucks, flying elephant, no contest. Imagine all the adventures - Flying into town on an elephant.
4. Have you ever flown into someone before but never had the speed to run away?
yep. dang you. dang you mister Wall Made out of Cement.
5. Does it feel good to love?
Pasta- most definately.
6. What do you like to eat?
Edible things. tasty edible things.
7. What's the last thing you'll do before you die?
Rule the Universe,
8. Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to fly away from Walls someone?
All the time. all the time.
9. What can you say about playboys/playgirls?
Toys R us must be making money.
10. Are you still a virgin?
How you doin.
(Part Two)
1. Best place to cry or fly?
in the sky. If you cry, it rains, if you fly. erm. you fall. and not hit the ground.
2. Who's the person who stands on top of your heart?
Shucks. I havnt a clue , but i hope the person dosnt where cleats.
3. Tell us your dream last night.
Oh brilliant, Once upon a time, there was war between chocolate bars and Thunder. Obviously from the names, Chocolate Bars were the more intimidating ones. One Day Mister Thun Derer went to school and ate a chocolate bar. Thats when the war turned in the Thunders favour , so one day ....
4. Ever hated someone so bad?
yes. Mister Hate.
5. The biggest and most hurtful lie you heard?
The Earth is spherical. What rubbish, i believed up to the age of 15. I now know its Squarical.
6. The last person you had a beer with?
I prefer wine.
7. The last person you went to the movies with?
was in this city.
8. The last person you talked on the cellphone with?
Mister Mobe Liefone
9. The last person you hugged?
The Hugger.
10. The last person who made you cry?
The horrid Mister Onion.
In the last week you kissed someone?
Yeah. Parents
12. Danced crazy?
All the time, thats why im prob in an asylum now. sighs.
13. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
When the flying bamboo stick ran away.
14. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
Another Gazillion wishes. Or maybe , erm.. i have to think about this. Yes, i did say think. I can.
15. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
All around the world. specifically, Rome , Venice, Milan, Genoa, Syracuse, Ravenna, Malta, Madrid, Valencia, Toledo, Granada, Marrakech, Athens, Rhodes, Nicosia, Zagreb, Toulouse. Champagne, Bordeaux, Moscow, Berlin, Budapest, Prague, Cairo, Alexandra, Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Istanbul, Ankara, the Cappadocians, Antanlya, Carthage, Cape-town, Pretoria, Delhi, Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Canton, Tokyo, Kyoto, Seoul, Sydney, , Wellington, Buenos Aires, Barcelona, Texas, NYC, California, Vancouver. Dubai and Doha.
16. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Absolupositively. on the PS2
17. Are you old fashioned?
shucks. i dont like the term old fashioned. i prefer Antique like or dinosaur dude or even Great Grandpa.
18. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back or Chickens tamed by monkeys took over the world.?
the latter. i dont think anyone would believe me.
19. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Living.
20. Five facts about me
I am a genius. I am from Earth. I like brown things i think. I like the Hitchikers guide to the galaxy. My real name is Aurelius Maximillian. I have a blue phone. My favourite dog is a chiwawa. I can spell rather well. i despise eagles. i think Pcs are better than macs.
Five of them are true.
Seven songs in my head now.
yeesh. They are in my head for a reason.
Five of your favourite TV shows.
House
Las Vegas
30 rock
My wife and Kids
Friends
Simpsons
Family guy
KevJumba
Monty Python
23. Five things I treasure in my life.
Me
Myself
I
Meself
Iself
and some rather akward things.
24. Four "First Time" in my life.
For the first time in my life, could fly
For the first time in my life, I could run around in circles. alot.
For the first time in my life, I have my own com.
For the first time in my life, I’ve posted . Well. No. but . posted erm.. in my grandmums house. yeah.
25. Seven words and things I always use
Words:
chicken
holey Smackerooney
blimey
Monkey
What in Tarnation?
I dont like Homework
Hey, got any food?
Things:
laptop
trusty bart simpson pencil bag
homework diary
Tele
Bros Com
Bed
I tag:
I Jon.
I tag Samanta,
Amanda,
Michelle
Evan.
Chewy
Anyone who so happens to read this. if its more than one person. im awed. that didnt make sense.
Nirvan
"lololololololololololololol"
Friday, August 8, 2008
OLYMPICS OPENNING CEREMONY!
BEIJING!
That was so freaking awesome.
With the -
and the-
Awesome.
I mean the flying runner dude and the billions of fireworks .
The fireworks were so freaking awesome. Awesome
Awesome.
Sweet
and the big Scroll.
WOWOWOWOWOWOW
Awesome.
That was so freaking awesome.
With the -
and the-
Awesome.
I mean the flying runner dude and the billions of fireworks .
The fireworks were so freaking awesome. Awesome
Awesome.
Sweet
and the big Scroll.
WOWOWOWOWOWOW
Awesome.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Part one of my science essay.
Five thousand years ago in central Europe, dense forest filled the mountainsides; untamed grass swept over fields and the Great Googly Moogly hunted flying Artic Monkeys. Fast forward five thousand years into the future, (give or take a couple of thousand, or hundred thousand for the matter.) nothing much has changed. The Lovely mountains of Eastern Switzerland are home to wild nature and are protected. No trees are felled, grass mown or Artic Monkeys (Long gone by the way) eaten. Animals once nearly driven to extinction, now flourish again after their reintroduction. Even the Wolves and Bears have returned.
Okay, now what does that have to do with the future of being green and fossil fuels and whatnot? First off, grass is usually green and second off, it sounds right and third off, I have not a clue yet.
So, basically, earth is going to the dogs , so to speak. Literally, it’s going to be a future alien dumpsite or a planet with nuclear winters. This is how it’s most likely going to happen, (according to numerous computer games of course) , We, homo sapiens sapiens are going to run out of fuel, pollute the world, run out of oxygen, get angry at each other for running ( or jogging ) us out of our fuel and oxygen and nuke each other till winter is nuclear. Seven zillion years later, aliens from our neighbouring star system of Alpha Centauri ( Big Centaurs in Spaceships) are going to zip over for their vacations and say , “ Darn what losers.”
As to avoid being called losers by horsemen from another planet, earthians or humans or whatever should start at the source of the problem to eradicate being ridiculed. Fuel. Well, it is pretty obvious fossil fuels are not working too well and the dinosaurs don’t think much about it either but hey! They are abundant right? Wrong! (According to what I know anyhow.)
We have to accept that fossil fuels are in the past ( sometimes literally.) We need new fuels like fuel cells, hydrogen fuel cells, other fuel cells and dung. Dung being the most important. Okay, here we go. Fuel cells give out load of energy and is way more efficient than normal engines. They are also way more complicated to make. Dung. Dung is dung , essentially bio mass which can power your cars at the cost of stinkyness. Then there are electric cars, solar powered cars, cars with windmills on top, cars powered by gossip , cars powered by teachers pedalling and so on so forth.
Some people say global warming is not happening. What rubbish. Of course it is happening, how do you think winter changes into summer and wet people dry themselves without a towel. ( but then there is global freezing when summer turns into winter). Some folks say this is garbage while they eat their boiled cabbage. They live in denial and are probably older than thirty and have the attitude of “ It won’t affect me till im long gone and by then I cant give two tosses about it.”. Those sad buggers live in denial, no not the Nile , denial, look it up and cant accept or are really picky with the reality they want. ( or may not want.)
Okay, now what does that have to do with the future of being green and fossil fuels and whatnot? First off, grass is usually green and second off, it sounds right and third off, I have not a clue yet.
So, basically, earth is going to the dogs , so to speak. Literally, it’s going to be a future alien dumpsite or a planet with nuclear winters. This is how it’s most likely going to happen, (according to numerous computer games of course) , We, homo sapiens sapiens are going to run out of fuel, pollute the world, run out of oxygen, get angry at each other for running ( or jogging ) us out of our fuel and oxygen and nuke each other till winter is nuclear. Seven zillion years later, aliens from our neighbouring star system of Alpha Centauri ( Big Centaurs in Spaceships) are going to zip over for their vacations and say , “ Darn what losers.”
As to avoid being called losers by horsemen from another planet, earthians or humans or whatever should start at the source of the problem to eradicate being ridiculed. Fuel. Well, it is pretty obvious fossil fuels are not working too well and the dinosaurs don’t think much about it either but hey! They are abundant right? Wrong! (According to what I know anyhow.)
We have to accept that fossil fuels are in the past ( sometimes literally.) We need new fuels like fuel cells, hydrogen fuel cells, other fuel cells and dung. Dung being the most important. Okay, here we go. Fuel cells give out load of energy and is way more efficient than normal engines. They are also way more complicated to make. Dung. Dung is dung , essentially bio mass which can power your cars at the cost of stinkyness. Then there are electric cars, solar powered cars, cars with windmills on top, cars powered by gossip , cars powered by teachers pedalling and so on so forth.
Some people say global warming is not happening. What rubbish. Of course it is happening, how do you think winter changes into summer and wet people dry themselves without a towel. ( but then there is global freezing when summer turns into winter). Some folks say this is garbage while they eat their boiled cabbage. They live in denial and are probably older than thirty and have the attitude of “ It won’t affect me till im long gone and by then I cant give two tosses about it.”. Those sad buggers live in denial, no not the Nile , denial, look it up and cant accept or are really picky with the reality they want. ( or may not want.)
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