HAHAHA I HACKED INTO EVAN'S BLOG ACCOUNT.
Or he gave me his password. Something like that.
He promised I could write the hundredth post, so this is it. Your long-awaited blahblahblah.doc. Go get some popcorn and a chair cushion. It'll be long.
I contemplated writing all about what I did today (get an award for passing my practical exam and a free book!), but sad as it may be, it's still Evan's blog. Darn.
So after three minutes of pondering, here's a list of 100 things I find weird about Evan.
(NOTE: Before I start, you should know that lately I've been extremely tired and uninspired. Meaning my writing might sound awfully weird or Awfully weird with an uppercase A.)
100 Things I Find Weird About Evan.
1. He has totally Malaysianified his name, thus making it sound bad. Evan (pronounced eh-ven) is a nice name. Evan (pronounced ee-vah-n), however much you accent each syllable, is not.
2. He has lady's fingers, and I don't mean a love for the vegetable. His fingers are long and slender and -- OMG, THEY'RE WORSE THAN JON'S. That's beyond weird.
3. He never brings his homework diary to school. Coming from Cempaka, that's completely weird.
4. He has a stuffed elephant and is fifteen.
5. His brother has a nicer name than he does.
6. He isn't ticklish. What kind of a freak isn't ticklish? You can poke him all you want, but he won't flinch. He'd stand there and wait for you to finish.
7. He makes typos more than I say "haha" in a convo. That's a lot.
8. He is tall and wears glasses. That's pretty weird, isn't it?
9. He listens to The Pussycat Dolls. Need I say more.
10. He calls you up at midnight on Skype to read out his English homework. And doesn't realise when you turn your speakers off.
11. He has an amazingly short attention span. I am not kidding.
12. He can't remember anything for nuts. He's worse than my dad -- AND MY DAD'S OLD, SO HE HAS AN EXCUSE.
13. He doesn't have a dog. Who doesn't have a dog?
(I, up until now, had no idea I was writing this post under the Edit HTML tab. This is just a glimpse of my geniusnessness.)
14. He talks faster than I do. Occasionally.
15. He said "I'm going to prom" and then asked "Do I need a tux?". Hahahaha that's weird.
16. He doesn't do homework until ten at night. And until he came along, I was sure I was the only one who did that.
17. He can play Eldeweiss on the guitar. Weirdoo.
18. He whacks you on your shoulder multiple times when he wants to talk to you. This is weird, bordering rude.
19. His initials spell elth. HAHAHAHA THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
20. He can't spell concur.
21. He calls football soccer.
22. AND HE SUPPORTS ARSENAL. What on Earth. They drew with Manu tonight, four all. You see, if CHELSEA played, they woulda kicked Manchester United's manchestery butt. So, in conclusion, supporting Arsenal is a stupid decision and should be classified as weird for the sole purpose of this list.
(That was written on the night Manchester United actually played Arsenal. Otherwise I am suffering from a condition that has me watching make-believe football matches.)
23. When he first met me, he thought I was shy. HAHAHAHA that deserved a spot on this list.
24. He doesn't know what Mufti means.
25. He believed me when I told him the nail polish I was (messily) applying would come off easily with soap and water.
25 and 1/2. He let me paint his nails.
25 and 3/4. He let DAVID paint his nails! What kind of an almost-guy lets another almost-guy paint their nails?
26. He took dance classes. (Sorry if that was some kind of unknown secret you kept from all your friends.)
27. He beat Armand in a pillow fight. This is weird, seeing as we're talking about Evan here.
28. He was beaten up by a bunch of kids in Year Five. That means they were, *counts on fingers*, nine.
29. He reads Wikipedia like I read people's minds. (That means a lot, because I'm psychic like that. :D)
30. He spells moi 'mua' and insists it's cooler.
31. He has a psycho-freak-stalker who doesn't even exsist.
32. He thinks ninjas aren't cool.
33. He thinks Tekton Pro looks like his handwriting, BUT FOR MARCAO FERNANDEZ'S SAKE, it does not.
34. He spelt pesimistik wrong, thus getting only 24/25 for his Malay vocab test. So much for being Mr. I-So-Smart.
35. He spontaneously puts on fake English accents when you least expect it.
36. Did I mention that he's tall and wears glasses?
37. He got trashed by both Nirvan and his brother in Halo 3 and still thinks he pwns.
38. His house is purple. Or rather, partially purple (alliteration!).
39. He can't write poems to save his life.
39 and 1/2. He thinks God rhymes with dog.
40. He shares the same nickname as a Pokemon character.
41. He overuses the words 'nut', or 'nut-case', or 'nutter', or 'nut' in its plural form, nuts. I have yet to hear him say nutty, though.
42. He likes the numbers 5, 7, 12, 15 and other multiples of 5, like 103, 395, 275. If that isn't weird, I'm not quite sure what is.
43. He hasn't changed his MSN username for the longest time.
44. When asked to tell me something weird about himself, he replied, I love my pillows.
45. He likes to read. But the weird part comes from be able to read in the first place.
46. When asked to tell me another something weird about himself, he replied, I like...er...dreaming.
47. Evan likes falcons, horses, dogs and dolphins.
48. He, I quote, wants a picture of his nails.
49. He likes pasta and thinks it's edible. Pfft. Pasta. Edible. Hahahaha.
100. He pronounces tomato toe-mah-toe. It doesn't get any weirder than that.
There you have it. 100 (or so) reasons why I think Evan is weird. It's past midnight and I'm sick of typing, so I'll end it here.
Wait.
Today marks exactly one month since I got my beloved iPod stolen.
...Okay, now I'll end it.
Edit// Ignore the post below.
Uncle Sam wants YOU to boycott Jon's blog!
It should remiain under-visited and spamless. :D
THE EVER-AMAZING, EVER-AWESOME, EVER-ALLTHEGOODWORDSYOU'DFINDINATHEASAURUS,
Nicole, Queen Of The Universe (conveniently abbreviated down to BBQ).
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